The Goons in Green
I hate traffic cops…I hate traffic cops with a passion! I hate traffic cops so much, that should I get immunity from the laws of this country for just one day I would drive around Colombo, in a big bad pickup, music blaring, tanked up on enough alcohol to kill a small bull elephant and run down every single cop I see clad in that hideous white slash-belt thingy!
I mean what on earth is wrong with the traffic cops of Colombo? You drive around town anytime after 10pm and they stop you and claim your drunk…even though you’re quite sober and the cop questioning you is grasping and grabbing at your open door to keep himself from savoring the sweet cold tarmac! I mean fine…I must admit I look drunk more often than not , but when someone with beady red eyes and arrack breath that could knock a horse out tells you, you look drunk, its rather annoying to say the least!!! And even if everyone involved is sober these damned green goons insist on looking for something to pin on you…be it Bob Sinclair singing about the “love generation” too loud or that your baby sister is a tart you picked up at the last junction or even that the windshield looks a bit darker than usual!!!
That being said…why is every young girl who goes out after 10pm a whore??? Just because so and so is in a car with a few of her friends why must the traffic cop retards assume that she was purchased on a pay-by-the-hour basis for a night of fucking frolic (No pun intended!!) I seriously hope and pray that some vigilante chick with colossal influence would put these losers in their place…or better yet get them all castrated, neutered whatever!!! I mean it’s asking for trouble when you call some persons sober, sane, and gracious girlfriend a hooker! I’m not sure what makes traffic cops such assholes…is it the fact that we are out partying while they are on duty? Is it the fact that we (kids) drive cars? Or is it just the fact that they have the badges/guns/influence and we don’t??? (so to speak)
I’m thankful I work in a high security zone which requires me to carry about a colourful assortment of ID cards to get me to various places I need to go, most of which are adorned with government crests…So usually after I get fed up of the usual indictments I flash them in the damned coppers face and ask him to speak to my “boss” and explain why there is going to be a delay in matters of “grave national concern”…this ALWAYS results in me being addressed as “sir” and a profuse apology and explanation about how cops have to do their duty blah blah blah but I pity the poor soul who happens to get stopped seconds after I move off on my way home after a night around town!!!
The list of accusations is amazing when you think of them…
“Your drunk” (Even if all you’ve had all day long is water and Marie biscuits)
“The person in the ID photo doesn’t look like you” (its called growing up/aging you numbskull)
“I’ve seen her before and not in this car” (It’s probably coz she’s in a few adverts? And you might just own a television???)
“Your music was too loud we could hear it thumping before you switched it off” (Loud officer? Louder than the supped up Subaru that just whizzed by at 90km/h???)
“You were driving suspiciously slow” (Would you prefer we fly low at a nice and easy pace of 120km/h???)
“You swerved as if you were drunk” (Yes – to avoid the banana tree sticking out of the main road)
And my all time favourite…
“You look a bit drunk” (NO I look a lot drunk coz I had 5 shots of god knows what followed by a bottle of white rum; I can barely stand, let alone have nice decent chit chat with you…that’s why I hired this fucking cab you C***sucking S.O.B)
Well what can I say… this is what the identity of our country… its not that the traffic cop is worried about the young women’s dignity or the safety of the road or the condition of your health…. May be those factors are the least he would worry about….. but here.. Specially in sri lanka its not the case.. they are not bothered about the country at all.. they are not bothered about a young girl or you either …whether you F*** OR NOT… so don’t you get the hint… what they all crave for is money… few thousands offered to them would give you the answer ….
nifraz said this on August 29, 2008 at 8:18 pm
ive seen most of these accusations.
one time a cop saw my hickey and asked where i got it from… he also asked if she was in the car. bloody idiots.
Ahamed Nizar said this on August 29, 2008 at 10:08 pm
The biggest problem is that the mojority of traffic cops are village louts who have been given a little bit of authority. This gives them the perfect opportunity to take out their petty frustrations about not having a car, not having a good looking girl give them the time of day, etc, etc.
thekillromeoproject said this on August 30, 2008 at 11:16 am
Barbaric, but only to be expected, country has gone to the dogs.
Things can only get worse from here.
JP said this on August 30, 2008 at 8:04 pm
[...] in Green? 30 08 2008 Nope not a copy of another kottu blogger just reading his post and [...]
Goons in Green? « The Rose Tinted View said this on August 31, 2008 at 12:24 am
Yay! You’re back!
Scrumpulicious said this on September 1, 2008 at 1:36 pm