The sweet sound of silence!

As an only child I’ve never had a problem with being alone. One of the best perks of being an uno-offspring is the silence one grows accustom to over the years! An empty, quiet, house doesn’t bother me…Rather I find it soothing to know that I’m alone and that I won’t be bothered by nagging parents or noisy siblings! I rather like the “sound” of silence! The beating of a fan, the soft hum of the computer as it downloads a whole queue of Torrents, and the occasional cricket (insect NOT the game) I tolerate for a while before squishing its chirpy existence if it’s in an excessively happy-horny mood! (That IS why they do the noisy-chirpy-thingy yes?) I do believe that I’m happiest when left alone in silence, to toy with my thoughts, and stuff myself with finger food! (Left over fried chicken being today’s dish of delight)

But since a few days ago…my silent solitude is shattered by the grating noise of hymns being broadcast over loudspeaker 24 hours a day!!!! I mean it sucks for a heretic like myself to be stuck in an overly devout neighborhood such as this, but having to put up with the noise is just too much!!! I mean its one thing to be asked by old ladies why you don’t show up in church on Sunday – Even though the church is just at the top of your lane/100meters away…but it’s another thing completely, to be rudely awakened by “songs of salvation” at the ass-crack of dawn!!!

I don’t get religion! I never really have! It’s like a ritual more than anything and some of the worst people I know are avid churchgoers! So forgive my blasphemy!!! And religion nowadays is just psychotic!!! It’s all Jihad and Sunday to church-Monday to brothel so I think my own little “you reap what you sow” religion/moral code is the best bet…even if it spells hell-doom-damnation for a baptized catholic like me!!!

But why on gods green earth must all religions blare over loudspeakers??? Are people really that detached from their gods that religious leaders have to force them to hear the good word of the lord through the disturbing distortion of a loudspeaker??? It’s really fucking beyond me!!!!

And its not that I hate hymns either…I quite liked sitting in a church listening to “soul sounds” and the Bishopian choir is pretty damn awesome as well but this shit I’m hearing is like the devils version of church-music!!! It’s vile!!!!

So I’m picturing me climbing the mini-tower where the loudspeaker is hung and cutting a few meters of wire length – just so they’d have to go to the trouble of getting a whole new wire to get their system back online! I’m sure it’ll be seen to promptly but at least I’d have a few hours of quiet to keep my sliver of sanity in check! The thought of killing the damned pastor did cross my mind but I’m sure I’d have a problem getting through the pearly gates with that on my deeds list! My excuse for cutting the wires would be to save a starving child but I haven’t figured out the intricacies as yet!!!

So dear reader (yes I made it singular so it would be more personal and you might actually feel a bond between us) please pray for the deliverance of my mortal soul and ask the good father above not to strike me dead as I scale the tower!!! It’s not that I’m evil or possessed or anything like that…the noise is just too much to bear…I mean its not even nice to listen to…hmmm….come to think of it…what would happen if some deranged atheist psychopath were to rewire the hymn-live-wire to play Led Zeppelin over the system…after all “stairway to heaven” DOES have the word heaven in it!!! How fucking religious is that!!!! *grins* well…gotta go my lovelies! Need to find my cutting pliers and that cheap cassette player I had lying around…these people should get a taste of their own medicine…after all my morals do go along the lines of “you get what you give”!!!!

~ by Kaiser Kobayashi on April 26, 2009.